Let’s Figure Out US Politics: Part 5638 of one million

It’s late at night, I need to wake up in the morning to get some blood work done, so let’s SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT POLITICS. If you’re a political science scholar, feel free to tell me how everything I’ve written here is wrong. This whole thing is kind of a rambling stream-of-consciousness deal made up of just random thoughts I was having while taking a shower and wanted to write them down so it’s a mess don’t read it

The thing about politics is it’s definitely not a straight line. It’s not left and right. It’s at least left and right and up and down. Economic issues and social issues at the very least, everything can probably be put under one of those (although military issues kind of fall under both). So I’ve been trying to figure out where the US political parties are on this scale. Because labels are meaningless, let’s make some labels right now. These labels will only exist for this post and may or may not be basically how I usually use the terms. Let’s say free market capitalist ideas are Right, and socialist and maybe Keynesian hey-maybe-government-should-have-a-role-because-hey-we-are-kind-of-the-ones-being-talked-about-here ideas are Left. (Already you can tell I probably have a bias.) For social issues, let’s say restrictive rights–which I’m seeing here as basically “revert rights to how they were 200 years ago”, so let’s call them Conservative, and so more social freedoms are Liberal. You may disagree with these definitions, but if you do, that probably just means you consider the right to deny rights a right. Right?

Okay seriously the Democratic Party is Liberal and the Republican Party is Conservative, usually Dems will let you do more things and Reps will not. The issue I keep thinking of for this is like, marriage equality, I guess. I’d say abortion is probably more of a social issue. Oh, duh, voting rights. You know, one party would rather nobody vote…

What about economically? Well, Republicans are generally “give corporations big advantages regardless of the free market” and Democrats are usually “give corporations big advantages regardless of the public good”, SO… we need a new term for that. Let’s call it Center. Okay, so that’s not really fair to the actual midpoint between Left and Right. Let’s call it Radical Center.

Brief moment to touch on Trumpcare to say that’s both Radical Center and Radical Let’s Erase Everything the Black Man Did While in the Still White House. While I think Democrats are Radical Center, they do have some Left to them. The real problem is just the Democrats are also completely spineless. Republicans, being insane, probably took spines from corpses and created a man whose entire skeletal structure is just spine. Actually, some Republicans it’s hard to tell if they’re spineless or just horrible people. I don’t need to wonder which one Mitch McConnell is. As a turtle he is one of these Spine Men, all the spines are used to connect his shell to him.

So we have two parties that are mostly Radical Center. Where’s Left and Right? Left is Green, which is also Liberal. Right is Libertarian, which is also Liberal. What a concept!

So that’s our political parties. Our people, on the other hand, will usually focus more on economic or social issues. Maybe those who focus more on social issues don’t have to worry about economic issues as much. Some people focus on both, which is good! Some people focus on neither. These people either do not deal with politics or are probably on 4chan and just say dumb memes and then get chokeheld by Christian Conservatives. Good job, there, guy. You really picked a good side.

Basically what I started thinking about was “how to make people vote democrat, or why they wouldn’t”. I mean the real question is “how to make democrat vote people” but I’ll get to that in a moment. Unless I don’t. This is pretty stream of consciousness. Poor people aren’t going to be totally selfless. They’re selfish, just ask Fox News. Wait, never ask Fox News anything. They need to sit in the corner alone. But seriously, people in poverty or financially shaky probably don’t usually care if someone else can marry or adopt a house. Sad, but true. Some of them do, of course, and some may actually be hostile to the idea of gay trans muslim atheist black women. I imagine most often though they want to focus on surviving, and would vote in a way that would be advantageous to their economic survival.

Well, I just said both main parties are Radical Center, so what are they going to do? Vote third party?

I want to take this moment to point out I’m probably poor, but I’m an unknown author who is trying to spend as little time as possible with a job outside of writing, so my income is as low as it can be without me ending up in actual financial trouble. So I’m kind of on a border here, I guess. And there’s also the fact that a medical disaster or other such high cost event could cripple me, but maybe that’s why I’ve been storing pizza in my cheeks for the winter.

Anyway, if someone of low income wants to improve their economic situation, they could vote Left or Right. Maybe they think free market capitalism would help them out. They’d vote Libertarian. Or maybe they think the government could help them like it kind of exists to. They’d vote Green. Or maybe the two main political parties have rigged the system and the media has made the idea of voting for a third party so futile-seeming that they will just vote for a main party. But which one?

Well, the Democratic party isn’t entirely Radical Center. Maybe them? But maybe this person, who focuses on issues to improve their economic situation, sees a party focusing on issues they don’t care about a snub to them, so they’ll vote Republican out of spite!

And I’m sorry, but if someone does that, they suck. Don’t vote out of spite. Granted the last presidential election was one big spitefest but until we unlock Anti-Votes so that we can just choose to lower a certain candidate’s vote total by one instead voting from spite won’t work.

Honestly I think all I’m trying to get at is why does it seem like such a bad thing to some people to have more Left in the Democratic Party? I mean sure they could just go Right and try to court Libertarians but that’s stupid, I’ve already admitted they’re more Left than Right.

Also nationalism confuses things a bit. People said both Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders were populist candidates. I don’t see how Trump is populist unless he’s just White Populism which actually he probably is. But nationalism is a social issue. Nationalism is Conservative, using the definition I laid out above.

Remember Compassionate Conservatism? Well, I don’t. That was before my time. But if Conservatism is about returning to the styles of the old days, I think Compassionate Conservatism should just be called Conservatism. I mean, slave owners back in the day believed (or at least said) they did black slaves a favor because they were savages who couldn’t live in civilization, right? It’s kind of a figged up point of view and was more than likely just rationalization but I’m pretty sure Conservatism is just rationalization. My point is that we had Conservatism, a return to the past, and now we have these crazy extremist nationalist parties springing up in Europe and Donald Trump’s hair, and using my definitions above, those parties are… Conservative! Fascism is Conservative! Neoconservative. Neocon.

So people have said Trump’s administration is Fascism. Are we sure the previous Republican president wasn’t also aspiring to Fascism? Some people have pointed out a significant amount of what Trump has done isn’t actually new.

Of course, the flip side of neoconservatism is neoliberalism. Uhh, shoot. I’ve been at this for like half an hour and I’m trying to remember what I was going to say about neoliberalism. I think it was basically that neoliberalism is a Right-wing ideology.

I think I’ve said everything I meant to. This post is kind of a ramble, ain’t it? Well, join us (me) tomorrow for something that’s not political, but is almost as ridiculous!

Seriously I’m going to post something special Wednesday. If you made it all the way to the end of this post, look forward to it. If you skipped everything in this post, that was probably a wise thing to do.

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