“Welcome back to The Milk Argument! Today on the debate floor, we have two special guests.” The camera panned to the first podium. “Our first guest is Darvo Prower–why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself, Darvo!”
“Thanks, camera. I’m a chemical eng- *ahem* Scientist trainer class that specializes in HP Restoring Items and I’m here to put to rest some myths perpetuated by the Johto Miltank Lobby.”
“Fantastic, and for our second guest, you’ll be debating against–a Miltank!”
“Moo,” said Miltank.
“All right, Darvo, you’re up first to lay out your argument.”
“Moomoo Milk is often proclaimed to be the “healthiest” option for Pokemon, due to propaganda campaigns about the value of “natural” substances, which is frankly absurd when you consider these Miltank are regularly converted into energy and are stored in boxes. Any secretions they produce are no more natural than the refined berry juice going into Soda Pop and the Potion line of tonics. Moreover, the only reason Moomoo Milk is OCCASIONALLY the most affordable option to restore HP is because of massive subsidies given by the Johto League to keep tourism up.”
“All right, and Miltank, your response?”
The audience applauded and cheered.
“I’m going to need a citation on that,” Darvo said.
The audience applauded again, as did the camera. “Well, I think that settles it, Miltank is the winner of this debate! Join us next time when the debate will be: chocolate, or strawberry milk!”
-Odemon #241 Miltank