Jack ran forward swinging, reaching to stab his foe’s eyes out. As a Sneasel his sharp claws and sharp speed were usually enough to do lasting damage, but the damn Arbok kept swaying away. Usually one stab to the eye sent them reeling, but with every miss Aob sprayed him with a burst of Poison Stings.
“Damn bitch!” Jack shouted, ignoring the pain. He slashed at Aob’s body, but she smacked him away with the end of her tail and he got only glancing blows.
“Wrong animal, Jackie,” Aob said.
“Damnit, call me that one more time and I’ll fucking turn you into shoes,” Jack said.
“What would you do with shoes?” Aob asked. “I’m sure you don’t know anybody who loves shoes.” Jack lunged for Aob’s neck, but she lifted up into the canopy above. The end of her tail remained lunging at the Sneaesl, but Jack climbed up the tree onto a branch.
He scanned the area but Aob seemed gone. Then he saw her tail retreating.
Jack smirked. “Leaving so soon?” He leapt at Aob and landed on another branch. A flurry of Poison Stings from behind barraged Jack in the back and he shouted curses at the bounty hunter Arbok as he fell to the ground, numb and blurry from the poison. In no time the snake’s coils squeezed around him and then stiffened–Aob’s Iron Tail increased its weight until Jack’s bones were crushed in a moment, and in another moment he was dead.
Jack stood up. His whole body was stiff and he muttered a stream of curses about damn bitches and cheating fighters and–
“JACK VANDERLIN!” The dark fog around Jack parted as a Drifloon emerged. “Your time has come!”
“Who the fuck are you? Get out of my face.” Jack waved the balloon Pokemon away.
“Hey, please show the proper respect for the position,” Drifloon said. “I’m afraid you’re at the end of the road now. Living impaired, as they say. You’ve got to come with me now.” Drifloon wrapped their strings around Jack’s arm.
“Hey, get the fuck off me!” Jack swung his arm, flinging Drifloon around.
“Now, it’s no use struggling, ‘mon!” Drifloon wobbled about. “Okay, maybe it’s a little bit of use.”
“Damnit, what are you trying to pull, anyway?”
“Er, well, you,” Drifloon said. “To the underworld. You’re dead, and it’s time to go.”
Jack smirked. “No thanks.” He slashed Drifloon, and they popped.
-Odemon #425 Drifloon