Human societies have many famous phrases intended to be good advice. It’s my job to ruin them and add my own spices, or, advspices, if you won’t.
Definitely Not Related to Our Leaders-2016/12/12
“Remember, success is one letter away from succss.”
If You Love Something-2013/3/10
“If you hate something, throw it away. If it comes back to you, it’s too needy. If it doesn’t, how DARE it scorn you! Hunt that thing down to the ends of the Earth!”
A Ruined Adage-2013/1/9
“A watched pot never gets botched.”
Bad Day-2012/10/29
“Tomorrow is another day. What do you mean ‘that makes it worse’??”
On Dealing With Things-2012/10/11
“If I was in your situation, what I would do is hide in the giant snail shell I carry on my back and pretend that I don’t exist and don’t care. The former is very easy, and the latter needs no pretending.”
A Lemony-Fresh Life-2012/7/24
“When life gives you lemons, sleep on them and the lemon fairy will take them and squirt them in my eye for making this dumb tweet”
Cycle of Life-2012/7/24
“get a hamster wheel and run as a metaphor for your li- wait no that becomes depressing”
On the Meaning of Life-2011/7/23
“When the meaning of your life is just like everyone else’s, there’s not a lot of meaning because you’re just one of many. When the meaning of your life is individually yours, it means more as the meaning is yours and yours alone, and you are irreplaceable in that meaning.”
On Eating Habits-2011/7/13
“If you are what you eat, does that mean everybody is a cannibal?”
Internet Friends-2011/7/10
“The internet has the amazing capability of allowing people with brains and heart to actually meet friendly people when they are in a place where everyone shuns them.”
Regarding One’s Past Self-2011/6/12
“I think it is normal to hate oneself prior to a certain point.”
On Death Anxiety-2011/6/4
“Anyone who isn’t apathetic about post-death either hasn’t thought it through or is a worrywart.”
Regarding Goals-2011/5/14
“Greatness desire is a pretty okay goal.”
Okay Expectations-2010/12/10
“Never expect to expect what you expect.”
Mind over Chatter-2010/11/13
“If you put your mind to it, something might probably perhaps be possible maybe.”
Duh-2010/11/11
“The harder you hit a rock, the harder it is to keep the rock from breaking I guess.”
Regarding Enemies-2010/11/10
“The enemy of my enemy is still a jerk.”
On Where to Keep Whom-2010/11/6
“Keep your friends close, and your fiends in a grave.”
On Following Up-2010/10/12
“Always follow up. Never follow down. Down is not a place you want to go.”
Regarding Life Paths-2010/8/22
“To find out where you’re going, look to where you came from.”
Public Bangavel-2010/1/27
“The lesson here is, don’t have a public trial/thread asking if a person should be banned since the person will just assume the answer will be yes and take it upon themselves to force the answer yes upon the people???”
On Online Relationships-2009/12/25
“REMEMBER, KIDDIES, LOVE IS ONLY POSSIBLE OVER THE INTERNET!”
Cheer Up!-2009/9/25
“AT LEAST YOU’RE NOT A FROG”
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