Odemon #519

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a Goodfeather. See if you were a Goodfeather, you had it all. You were a somebody, in a neighborhood full of nobodies, like Bobby and Pesto. Those guys were my heroes.
Down main street they would walk, at first glance just a Tailow and a Pidgey, but they would strut so high that you just knew they owned the place.
“Hey, coo, I’m walking here,” Pesto would say.
“You walking with me?” Bobby would say. “Is that what your doing? You walking with me? I don’t see anybody else here. You walking with me?”
Bobby and Pesto weren’t afraid of nothing or nobody. Even against a ferocious cat Pokemon, like an Espurr, they would put their heads together and show it who’s boss. It would be so dazed when they were through with it, it was like it didn’t even know they were there.
I called out to them and waved, hoping to get their attention. Once they noticed me I flew down there.
“How you doing, Bobby? Uh, hiya, Pesto!”
“Coo,” Bobby said, no doubt a greeting to me. “Well look what we got over here.”
“What’s with you, Pidove?” Pesto asked.
“Well I’d like to become a Goodfeather.” I gave them the biggest, friendliest grin I could muster.
Bobby and Pesto looked at each other… and then they laughed at me. They could barely stand up from how much they laughed at me. They were definitely not interested. In fact, they were so not interested Bobby had Pesto kick my behind away!
Even though they kept laughing, I wasn’t going to give up. I tried to convince him.
“Aw, don’t laugh, guys. I just wanna be a tough bird, you know, like you, Pesto.”
“What do you mean by that?” he asked.
“I said your tough, that’s all.” I meant it as a compliment, but for some reason he didn’t take to that at all.
“You’re saying I’m an overdone piece of meat, is that what you’re saying? What am I, a plate of dry steak-butt meat here to amuse you?”
I tried to explain myself. “No, I didn’t say that, I just said your tough.”
“I am tough?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m tough.”
“Yeah, you’re tough.”
He turned around. I thought he understood what I meant at thatp oint, but…
“That’s it!” He turned back and immediately started beating me up.
duth olec’s note: this isn’t as funny as i thought. someone with video editing skills should probably just take the corresponding episode and paste the corresponding pokemon over the characters. the end.

-Odemon #519 Pidove (note to self: don’t rewrite visual media into a narrative for this. especially not with the actual script to refer to??)

Gender Swap

I’m sure you’ve heard: The Doctor is now a woman! Neat! I’m not here to talk about that, because I saw this tweet in response:

SO I DID.

Animaniacs, Pinky & the Brain, Freakazoid

Yakko and Wakko as girls and Dot as a boy? It totally works! You really don’t even have to change anything. No, technically, you don’t have to change their reactions to attractive people.

Pinky & the Brain also super works too and the show kinda needed more female characters so yeeeah. I even once wrote a story in the past with a character who was basically a female version of The Brain so I can confirm it still works.

Freakazoid was the only one I had a bit of trouble with at first but then I got over it. Actually would female Freakazoid be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl with no guy to be a supporting character to? (I know Steff was his girlfriend later but he’s still the main character?) I guess he (she) wouldn’t really be pixie. I guess Freakazoid is more of a Cloudcuckoolander. Look I don’t organize tropes I just write them and then people tell me what tropes I’ve used, or at least they would if they’d put me on TV Tropes. Someone go do that.

Sheep in the Big City

I’ll wait a moment for you to look that up.

Anyway just reverse the entire Secret Military Organization. Which really just means they’re all female now, except maybe the Plot Device, who is still a robot but with a male voice. It still works, except it again took me a bit on General Specific, but I think I got it conceptualized. Also, Ben Plotz. Have a female narrator!

Actually I recently realized I missed a great opportunity to give Wally in the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos a gender-neutral name. There’s no reason they should be male, and in fact good reason for them to be neither, so Wally is officially a gender-neutral name and Wally is referred to with a they pronoun. Anyway! With those two shows considered I started thinking of other forms of media!

Discworld

Why haven’t we had a female grim reaper?

I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if something has had a female personification of Death but I don’t know of one.

Also I don’t know if The Luggage counts as male but if it does there wouldn’t be much of a difference as female.

Despite what Granny Weatherwax might say, I could not only see the wizards and witches be swapped, I’m not sure there’d be a difference!

And there’s no reason the Night Watch couldn’t be swapped. Sam Vimes, Sergeant Colon, and yes, even Nobby.

Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos

wait these are mine. and top is neuter. Okay actually if the CCC is ever adapted into a media with sound Top should definitely be voiced by a female voice actor.

Super Mario

Female Fawful? Works for me! Male Cackletta? That’s just Antasma. Female Waluigi? wa. (That’s Waluigi for “yes”) Female Count Bleck, female Dimentio? YES

Banjo-Kazooie

Why is it so hard to imagine a male Gruntilda? Maybe it’s because she’s such a figgin awesome female villain and those are always precious. Anyway, as soon as I imagined her not as a witch but as a wizard or warlock or something IT STILL TOTALLY WORKS

Sonic the Hedgehog

okay i draw the line at eggman losing his mustache

JUST KIDDING FEMALE EGGMAN WOULD BE COOL TOO

I’d also be super down with female Tails and Team Chaotix.

Nedroid

Female Reginald and female Beartato would also be cool and I want to see Anthony Clark do that actually.

Homestuck

Let’s be honest, there’s probably enough fan-fiction out there that every character is gender-swapped at some point, and I’m okay with this. Female Spades Slick!

Anyway I hope none of this is offensive, or maybe I hope all of this is offensive. It’s hard to tell!