Odemon #698

“We did it! We restored Amaura from a fossil!”
The scientist looked at the puddle on the floor.
“And it already melted from the heat!”

-Odemon #698 Amaura

Odemon #630

“We are here in the wild Poni Plains at the peak of what we believe to be the Mandibuzz mating season. A male Mandibuzz has never been found, and we believe the mating season is the best time to discover one.
“Here we have a splendid female specimen of Mandibuzz up in a tree. It is believed that the bones they adorn their bodies with are used to attract males. A fierce display to most, it is believed this makes male Mandibuzz see the female as tough.
“What’s that? Oh! A much brighter Mandibuzz has landed on the branch. Could this be the elusive male Mandibuzz? Let’s watch what they do.”
The male Mandibuzz approached the female and opened a wing around her. The female shouted and thrust her bone armor at him, pushing him down the branch before grabbing the bone in her head feathers and whacking the male off the branch. The male squawked and took flight.
“New research indicates the bones are not to attract a male but to ward them off.”

-Odemon #630 Mandibuzz

Odemon #240

Remember, remember,
In late December
When Magby gets sick
And out dribbles embers
Dark smoke it will breathe
Flame drips from its nose
Just dip it in magma
From its head to its toes.

-Odemon#240 Magby

Odemon #405

Luxray crept towards an unsuspecting Wooper. The oblivious fish with feet stood in place blowing bubbles with its spit–it would never see Luxray coming. The Gleam Eyes Pokemon lunged at the Wooper with a snarl and smacked its face into a wall.
Luxray rubbed its face. It forgot to turn off its x-ray vision.

-Odemon #405 Luxray

Odemon #90

Lick the sand
Dig a hole
Sand gets stuck
Make a pearl
Useless pearl
In the way
Spit it out
And swim away

-Odemon #90 Shellder

Odemon #232

Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’
Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’
Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’
Though the streams are swollen
Keep them Donphan rollin’, armor!

-Odemon #232 Donphan

Odemon #73

they say
they call me cruel
avoid my tentacles
cruel tentacles
cruel poison
i seek to grasp
poison tentacles
all i know
but cruel
all i want
is to give a hug
and be cool again

Odemon #718

Zygarde 100% forme battled against a rampging Guzzlord. It blasted the Ultra Beast with a big blast. It could defeat this otherworldly monster. But then a piercing scream racked the skies and a second, shiny Guzzlord appeared–and a third! Zygarde couldn’t stop all three on its own. It needed… THE CANADIANS! It sent a distress beacon across the ocean…
And the Zygarde cells of Canada, which in the Pokemon world I’m going to assume is called the Moople Region, began to coalesce.
10%! Zygarde Dog dashed down the streets and over the fields, heading for the east coast and collecting more cells as it went.
20%! It grew wings and soared into the sky as a rooster, flying over the cities and gathering more cells.
30%! It became the Internatioanl Prototype of the Kilogram. It immediately fell from the sky and plopped into the sewer. There more cells floated to it until…
40%! It transformed into a crocodile that charged through the water until it gathered enough cells to become…
50%! The Giant Worm! It smashed through the walls of the sewer and dug its way to the east coast. Only an ocean to cross to reach Kalos, and with enough cells it became…
60%! It split into a mass of tentacles and crossed the ocean as an octopus. It reached Kalos, but it wasn’t at 100% yet. It needed…
70%! The Entire Province of Quebec! By transforming into The Entire Province of Quebec, it gathered more cells, even though the entire point of the Canada joke was that because all the cells in Kalos were in the first Zygarde it needed ones from Canada, and it transformed again into…
80%! It landed on a soldier charging to the kaiju battle and sat on them as a beret. Fortunately, General–wait was there any military-types in Kalos? I can’t remember. Whoever! They had a cache of Zygarde Cells and were able to bring it up to…
90%! As Jim Carrey he put on a big mustache and flew into Zygarde 100%, piloting it from within and double teaming the triple team Guzzlord and blasting them back into the Ultra Wormholes!

-Odemon #718 Zygarde

Odemon #290

Bug of darkness underground
Motionless it lies
Awaits evolution; accuracy
Improves by its Compound Eyes
But FIRST OF ALL, this thing is blind!
Why the ability Compound Eyes?
Motionless but ability Run Away?
Are these Pokedex entires just lies?

-Odemon #290 Nincada

Odemon #504

Shove food in your mouth
Watch out to the south
Hold your post
Do not boast
Stay cautious and on the lookout
Stay on your shift on you watch
Or our protection will botch
A northward foe
Decisive blow
Unless all positions hold out

-Odemon #504 Patrat