Odemon #489

POKEMON SPECIAL REPORT
A new report out today has indicated that the Manaphy population in the oceans has been decreasing. As ocean tempreatures have been rising, Manaphy have been hatching as the mutant, damaged Phione instead. The CEO of Tyrantum Oil, Mr. Stock Carrot R, held a press conference refuting the report.
“This is entirely ridiculous. Manaphy and Phione are two entirely different species of Pokemon, and warming seas wouldn’t have an adverse effect on Manaphy, and also the sea isn’t warming anyway. Besides, Phione are cuter, see?” Stock held up a Phione, who squirmed in his grasp. “They’re much cuter so everyone should just forget about the Manaphy anyway.” Phione squealed and flailed, slapping Stock until he dropped it. “SEE? CUTE.”
The league of Manaphy and Phione held a separate press conference later to refute this stance.
A Manaphy stood on a podium. “Manaphy!”
This has been another Pokemon Special Report.

-Odemon #489 Phione

Odemon #491

Dear Darkrai,
Why do people have nightmares about their teeth falling out?
From, Toothless

Dear Toothless,
What do you think these red spikes around my neck are?
Your nightmare, Darkrai

-Odemon #491 Darkrai

Odemon #421

Sunshine and rainbows, the sky is so bright!
Flowers blooming into the light!
Happiness, joy and fun and excitement!
soul is frozen like endless emptiness
soul burns, choking smoke, flowers wilt
gray cloudy skies
the landscape dies
no hope, no future, nothing but pain
i’d cut myself but the lawn mower won’t start
overcast days of torment move slow
Happy flowers! Happy trees! Happy sun!
Clear blue sky and shining sun!
Rays of light so warm and bright!
Wonderful sight! Quite all right!

-Odemon #421 Cherrim

Odemon #539

Strong
Attacks,
Walloping
Karate

-Odemon #539 Sawk

Odemon #486

-Odemon #486 Regigigas

Odemon #396

Once upon a time there was a little Starly. This Starly was weak, and so they convinced a few other Starly to join up and form a group. Then they were strong. Other Starly saw this and wanted to join the group. Then they were stronger. But then they noticed a big group of Trumbeak, so they gathered more Starly to be stronger then the Trumbeak. Then they were too big for their territory so they got more Starly to spread the flock wider. Then they were so big they started to bicker, and the flock split into two sides.
Anyway that’s why our Starly flock has two political parties.
“but i wanted to know why we only have two and not more”
I JUST EXPLAINED THAT SHUT UP

-Odemon #396 Starly

Odemon #134

Aqua powers
Fishy Showers
Fins on fur
Melting blur
Vaporeon
or maybe Showers
Showers’ powers
are pretty wowzers

-Odemon #134 Vaporeon

Odemon #18

Super fast let’s go mach 2 it’s Pidgeot it flies it zooms it goes so fast you can’t keep up and snatches prey right from the sea

-Odemon #18 Pidgeot

Odemon #197

“Umbreon! Use Acid Armor!”
“I can’t learn Acid Armor!”
Trainer swung the Pokedex around. “But it says RIGHT HERE you sweat poison! Shouldn’t you be able to use a move where you cover yourself in acid armor??”
Umbreon turned around. “That doesn’t matter, I can’t use it! Besides, in the Japanese text it just translates to Liquefy!”
Trainer threw the Pokedex at Umbreon. “THEN WHY DID THEY CALL IT ACID ARMOR AND WHY IS IT A POISON-TYPE MOVE???”
“I DON’T KNOW STOP YELLING AT ME!”
“AND WHY ARE YOU SO SWEATY??”

-Odemon #197 Umbreon

Odemon #384

Good news: we found Rayquaza so we can eliminate all the chaotic weather caused by Kyogre and Groudon AND NOT US HUMANS
Bad news: It got angry and attacked us and then we kind of attacked back and it fell from the sky and crashed to the ground like a meteor and sent up so much dust into the sky we’re in a new ice age.
BUT HEY! At least now we can burn lots of coal and gas again and not worry about global warming! The economy is saved!

-Odemon #384 Rayquaza