Darmenzi is one year old today!

Well, in about a month it will b…

Wait, really? I released it one year ago today??? I thought that was next month! Well, fig!

So yeah, one year ago today I released the Darmenzi as an ebook on Smashwords. Maybe the February date was me thinking of the physical book’s release, which came a bit later on Lulu. This was all a little over a year after I’d put an in-progress version up for free online; you can still read that, too! It’s nowhere near as good as the final book, which is like, only a dollar on Smashwords anyway.

So, yeah, that’s a thing! You know, legally, this book is eligible for awards. Which awards? I don’t know I honestly have never paid attention to any awards for anything ever. Okay that’s a lie I paid attention to the Nintendo Power awards but there’s no way those weren’t rigged. In terms of books… not really. I should maybe fix that. It doesn’t help that I’m generally about 30 years behind on books. But I digress.

I’d wanted to have a special preview of something for this date, but that was when I thought it was in February! So, uh, an audiobook of Darmenzi is still planned to be made. So far we have only hit one major snag. And that’s… that… I haven’t… made… Dangeresque 3 yet. No but for real I apparently talked about doing some initial recording well over a year ago now and that’s just absolutely INSANE. So much gets in the way–my forgetful memory, which I’ve tried to alleviate with a gigantic two whole lines in my agenda of nothing but AUDIOBOOK over and over, but eventually even that just kind of… becomes part of the noise. Even when I do remember, well, both I and the guy I’m recording it with run into problems, schedule conflicts, technology issues, and general low spirits and sickness. Even if it’s a bit past the exciting time of release, this audiobook is going to be produced… even if it might not be until the second anniversary.

Wandering Fortunes Chapter 17 is up! Ride of the Domestic Device Drover (etc.)

Ride of the Domestic Device Drover, but I Guess There Are More Important Matters at Hand! Now how’s that for a title? Following on the disastrous last chapter, Alden is out to get some answers, but he’ll find a lot more than he intends! Will this spell disaster for him and his friends? I referred to the previous chapter as the one where things start to go to hex; this is the one where everything firmly and completely goes to hex. The action is rising quickly now, and the first half’s climax will be soon!

Of course, once you’re finished reading this chapter, if you want to get a jump on everyone and read chapter 18 sooner, you can donate to my Ko-Fi! As an added bonus you’ll get a copy of Slubes or Darmenzi, whichever you like–not that you need to this month, because both books are free in the Smashwords Summer Sale! Grab both, read free books, read free in-progress books on this website–I love free stuff!

Physical Darmenzi book! Patreon changes! KO-FI!

The physical book version of Darmenzi is now available for purchase on Lulu.com! It’s even better than my first book Slubes, and I’m excited to finally have a second book in physical form. Now I can show people TWO things and they’ll go “whaaaa, you’re dedicated to this??” It’s $12 on Lulu and it’s amazing and formatted and just take a look at what the critics may or may not have said!

“I laughed! I cried! I ate a banana!”

“If you only read one book this year, you should read more. What’s this about a Darmenzi story?”

“The title character is truly the greatest villain of our time. Even if Duth is a charlatan who skews how I–I mean, he looks.”

To go along with this announcement there’s been some changes to my Patreon, although some of it is just cleaning up. The most immediate change is to the $2 and $3 reward tiers, which no longer has the “give for a million months and get a name in book”. I really don’t like having rewards that require someone to sustain giving over a period of time, because not everyone can do that.

Instead, those are now a part of my Ko-fi page! I’ll still be on Patreon but they will generally focus on different things–Patreon in the prog chapters I post for free each month (you can see them early or see excerpts from what I’m working on at the time, for example), and Ko-fi on the final products:

$3 gets you an ebook copy of one of my books, $18 gets you not only a signed physical copy in the mail but also an exclusive bookmark, and $30 gets your name in the next figgin book, wow!

Think of Patreon as helping fund my creative process, and Ko-fi as being closer to me. Somehow. I also plan to add goals to Ko-fi that I feel are things I don’t necessarily need to make a monthly income as the prerequisite for doing, although I can’t guarantee that none of them are going to be jokes.

That’s about it for now! New Ko-fi, continuing Patreon, physical Darmenzi book. See you in about a week for the next profile (and don’t forget that $3+ patreons get to read the next chapter early).

New book, Darmenzi releases tomorrow, January 17th!

Oh dang! It’s the second book release! Darmenzi is finally here, tomorrow! I’m excited, and definitely not just woke up and wanting to get all this stuff said before it’s too night and everybody normal is asleep!

It’s a sequel to my first book, Slubes, which is still available and stars an anxious pile of frayed nerves pulled into an adventure where he tries to prove himself to his love while dealing with his ridiculous world while an intergalactic invader sends destructive, sneaky, and ridiculous enemies to steal a crystal of immense powers. Darmenzi features the return of that anxious pile of frayed nerves, a little braver, a little more confident, still a flopping jitterbug, face off against the authoritative conqueror’s return and a manipulative force of chaos. It has slugs, giant crabs, robots, mechs, magic, caves, ghosts, pirates, ancient ruins, monsters, a dragon, silliness, seriousness, a library, insanity, deep-sea exploration, space exploration, a hotel, a bratty kid with a gun, jail time, a car crash, and sad magma!

The final preview chapter is here, and you can see where all three are at the Darmenzi page. The book will be available at Smashwords, and it has been pre-ordable or whatever at Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Kobo. I hope you like the book!

Also, work on a physical copy is under way, I should have more information on that next week.

Preview of Darmenzi chapter 1 and pre-orders are a go!

The preview of the final version of the first chapter of Darmenzi is now up to read. You can see just how much three years improves! Our protagonists and their home is introduced, and a new challenger approaches.

And excellent news as well in that the pre-orders are now live, I believe! You can pre-order the book on Barnes & Noble, iTunes, or Kobo!

Though as usual if you give money to my Patreon you’ll not only get the book but you can get the book and read it before everyone else! You can also get other cool things through that. Like the warm knowledge that you’re helping a writer survive??

Tomorrow we’ll take a break from all this Darmenzi news though with the posting of a very special story. It will be special, and very, and story. See you then!

Darmenzi releases Wednesday, January 17th, 2018! In one month!

As you can see by the press release I just posted, I finally have a release date set for Darmenzi. It’s been a long time coming… though maybe not as long as Slubes was. The ebook can be seen here and will be $1, just like Slubes, except Slubes is currently free for December on Smashwords.

Pre-ordering will be available once Smashwords approves the book and sends it to the websites that allow that; I will keep everyone informed as to when this happens as soon as it does. Keep in mind that if you pledge to my Patreon you get the book upon release, and if you pledge $3 or more you’ll get it BEFORE release!

As you may notice, the book has had a bit of a makeover, centering text and making the smaller text easier to read. To go with this is a new book description, which you can see both on the novel page of this website and the Smashwords page for the book. There is also a preview of the final book you can read here, with more chapter previews coming over the next few weeks before the book’s release.

Now then. You’ll notice I only mentioned the ebook. A physical book will be coming, but I do not know if it will come on the same day. I’m going to look into different physical book publishers from Createspace, and so that might take a bit of time to settle on one that I’ll want to use (unless the first one I try is great in which case swell!) I’ll keep you up-to-date on that as well.

In summary: Darmenzi releases January 17th, preview here, donate on Patreon to get a copy early, physical book news later.

Chapter 9 of Wandering Fortunes is up!

Chapter 9: No Hobo features the first kind clerpson our friends encounter in New Zhopolis. At least, let’s hope he turns out to be friendly–it’s hard to trust anyone in a big city like this. At the bottom of the city, though, depressed and alone, it seems he may be their way to make it in the city. Or at least live in it. Also features the sudden appearance of another character, a strange-looking one whose appearance raises even more questions than Top’s look does. Well, those questions will keep coming next chapter, so whatever.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but I got some information from my editor and soon it will finally be time to charge full steam ahead on finishing Darmenzi! Yes, that’s still a thing that’s going to happen! Kind of crazy to think it’s been nine months since its last chapter was posted on here, but it’s been edited to be way better and I hope I can get this out before the year’s end! (If not, I may very well shoot for two years to the day after the second edition of Slubes released.) I’ve never been strong on the advertising front, but I hope to change that. oh no

And remember, I have a Patreon where you can read these new chapters half a month early. Chapter 10 will come in mid-September. Plus, you can get a free ebook copy of Darmenzi a month before the final release!

oh and you can make a word mandatory to appear on my website, more on that later

ART (or at least some facsimile of it): Thyvae

I said I maybe might! Doodled up in about I don’t actually know how long but it couldn’t have been more than 10 or 20 minutes, maybe 30, the simplest-looking species from the CCC on Mintop, the thyvae. The original inspiration was hydras. You know, from nature.

thyvae

These doodles are by no means meant to be a final word on how these things look. I just like having stuff to actually post for once.

Darmenzi Chapter 16: Ending Maneuvers

Chapter 16: Ending Maneuvers

We’re in the final quarter of Darmenzi now! To start it off, we check in on someone we haven’t seen for a bit, then dive into a fantastic setting that gets broken into by another old “friend”. I’d have to say I particularly like this chapter, as we get to see some things we haven’t had a chance to examine too closely before, and the character interaction is amazing. When I get silly, I hold no punches from oversized novelty punching gloves.

On a side note, Slubes ebook is still free until… Wait, hold on… Smashwords is doing a sale this month. Okay! It’s free until the end of July, whee!

In other news, I’ve gotten work started on editing the third novel, Wandering Fortunes. I’m primarily combing through it right now for what major things I need to edit, but next week I’ll get underway on that. More on that near the end of the year!

Video of Slubes reading and free Slubes ebook!

Today marks three months since Slubes was re-released, and to mark this occasion a couple special things. First, the ebook is free until July 10th (and not August 10th, I seriously keep skipping July in my mind, the two months just run together for me, stupid naming convention, no, it is July 10th that the promotion lasts to). Just put in the coupon code LC88G at the Smashwords Slubes page when you get it and it will cost zero pennies.

The second thing is much sillier. I wanted to make a video of me doing some reading of Slubes, but my microphone has been broken for a while (AGAIN), so I got another idea. I pulled up the text-to-speech things on Windows 8 and fed the book through that! I think you’ll be pleasantly surprizzzzz

(Of course, if you’d rather just read an actual preview of it instead of listening to it like a normal person, such a preview is always available on the Smashwords page and on my website here.)