I know it’s a bit sudden, but I’ve grown weary of the humor. I think it’s time for a change. I know it’s the middle of a story, but I’ve written a new one for this, as I am going to start writing horror stories now. Also, maybe political ones, I’m not sure yet. Let me know what you think.
All posts tagged trump
Shadow the Trumphog
A few days ago I made this post on Mastodon: https://writing.exchange/@DuthOlec/100050331585689503
“Currently pondering what path Donald Trump would take through Shadow the Hedgehog.”
So let’s do it! Let’s see if we can’t figure out what path he’d take! The obvious one would be “he’s a bad bad man so he’d do everything dark and be bad and end on the path where he destroys everything” but I think we can be more nuanced than that.
Level 1: Aliens are invading a city, and you can choose to defeat all the aliens, defeat all the human soldiers, or ignore them all. What would Donald Trump do? I think he would view the aliens as immigrants and therefore attack all of them. Yes, I’m starting by saying he would go the hero route. However, in level 2 he would see they have a big, beautiful ship, and he wouldn’t want to destroy it, so he’d ignore it. That’s the dark path, so he gets thrown into some military jungle base. In level 3 the aliens want him to destroy all the military robots, but he wants a robust military. At the same time, some bee wants him to find these data disks, but that sounds complicated and boring, so he just ignores it all. Neutral route. That sends him into the sky in level 4 where the aliens are fighting some scientist guy. He still doesn’t want to destroy what really are quite fantastic ships, but he also doesn’t want to blow up the aliens’ power source because that sounds hard. Neutral route. He ends up back in a jungle for level 5 where Eggman is retreating and the military is attacking him, and, really, as much as Trump wants a strong military, Dr. Eggman is clearly a small business owner that the government is treating unfairly, so he blows up the robots attacking Eggman. That leads to level 6 where the aliens send him to their base because the military’s attacking them.
Okay so at this point I could go the obvious route and say “turmp hhelps the aliens, and becomes their tool, because it turns out, the aliens were rusisa!” But I think what really happens is Trump considers these robots too much work to destroy and just ignores him. This leads to the ending where Shadow declares himself master of his own life. Maybe not a big revelation to consider that Trump just does what he wants, though.
Posted by Duth Olec on May 25, 2018
https://cloudycuckoocosmos.com/2018/05/25/shadow-the-trumphog/
Apparently there’s a presidential debate tonight, so let’s look at the candidates as VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS
On one side, we have Donald Trump. He’s a default character available from the beginning. He hits really hard, but he’s slow. He has a degree of unpredictability that, somehow, just makes him really predictable. A lot of rookies play as him because, against another rookie or easy CPUs he often is easy to win with.
Then we have Hillary Clinton. She’s another default character available from the start, and she has a lot of skills and strength that makes her a strong character, but all her moves are difficult to pull off and require a lot of practice. Like, a really lot of practice. You doing anything else with your life? You won’t be able to use her very well. You need a lot of money time to get good with her, and those who do are usually able to beat everyone else easily. A novice can hardly beat anyone.
We also have Jill Stein! She’s a hidden, unlockable, hidden character who is really difficult to unlock. However, she’s easy to use and strong, so a novice is able to use her well, as is someone who has practiced with her a lot. She’s high in the tier list. Not top tier, though. That’s Diddy Kong, who was removed from the race for throwing mud. Or maybe it was poop. Either way, she does have some weaknesses, such as an inability to use items well.
Gary Johnson is also a hidden, unlockable character, but he’s the joke character. He’s not very good. At all. Though he’s also difficult to unlock.
Also, Bernie Sanders has been found in the game’s coding. He was cut from the final version, but he’s still in the game’s files in incomplete form. There’s some really specific and complex glitches that can let you play as him, and for the most part he works without much trouble. For the most part it’s just that a match with him and Clinton leads to some game crashes. He generally plays like a stronger Jill Stein but has his own set of weaknesses.
I hope you enjoyed this complete turnaround of my previous statement about being unable to social media anymore because I started my dayjob today.
Posted by Duth Olec on September 26, 2016
https://cloudycuckoocosmos.com/2016/09/26/apparently-theres-a-presidential-debate-tonight-so-lets-look-at-the-candidates-as-video-game-characters/
Wherein I discuss Donald Trump for a moment
What if it turns out that Donald Trump has actually had a little radio transmitter in his ear all along and someone was telling him what to say, but a while ago someone put up an antenna on a nearby Drive-Thru Whale and it’s spouting gibberish for him to say?
We’ll know if this is true if his next speech is something to the effect of, “It’s the greatest day. It’s the greatest day! Seriously, it is the. Greatest. Day. The greatest day, and it’s in America. The greatest day is in America. Let’s make America great again, let’s make this day great again. We are going to make America the greatest day again. The greatest day is going to be America again. Sever your leg. No, I will not say ‘please’.”
Posted by Duth Olec on August 3, 2016
https://cloudycuckoocosmos.com/2016/08/03/wherein-i-discuss-donald-trump-for-a-moment/
Political “I told you so”
The US presidential race this year features number of key players: Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Jill Stein, Donald Trump, and some guy, Larry Jonathan I think? Clinton got the Democrat’s nominee. Sanders supports were sad. Stein supporters expected it. Trump supporters… I don’t even know.
Let’s say Trump wins this November and becomes president. Clinton supporters will look at the Sanders supporters who didn’t then bend over for Hillary and say “I told you so.” Sanders supporters will look at the Clinton supporters and say, citing the idea that Sanders was a stronger opponent against Trump, “I told you so.” Who will be right?
Um, well, Donald Trump will be right, because he’s on the Republican side. But who will be left? Well, not the people who will go live in some other country. But who will be wrong? EVERYBODY.
Though I’ve read that more Sanders supporters have gone to Clinton than Clinton supporters did for Obama in 2008 anyway, which is kind of hilarious? I didn’t follow the 2008 election too closely because I was still young, what were their main policy differences? Although I’m not even sure that mattered.
Posted by Duth Olec on July 12, 2016
https://cloudycuckoocosmos.com/2016/07/12/political-i-told-you-so/