It’s time for a scaaaary story and–what? Halloween is over? Oh, so it is. Well, it’s not actually scary. Unless you count depression and loneliness to be scary. So… it’s scary.
Liquid Melancholy is a return to some old frenemies and wait that’s how you spell frenemy? I mean, it’s in spellchecker and that’s how you spell it?? But friend has an I before E except after C and oh never mind.
Liquid Melancholy heads back to Mintop to see how Conrad the Conqueror is doing. He has plans, but who cares about him we’re focusing on the magma monster here! Nobody ever visits the magma monster, and that has made Cagnorm lonely. They want a friend. Will they find it? To what lengths will they go to find one? That’s what this story looks at. Hope you like it!
You can take a look at the final version of Darmenzi‘s second chapter here! You can also read it on Wattpad or Medium.
We just have two more weeks until Darmenzi‘s official release on Smashwords! Pre-orders are live on Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Kobo. Those who pledge on my Patreon will also get a copy of the book (or Slubes, if you like).
The not-quite-tournament is under way with chapter 17 of Darmenzi! Numer faces his fears, Pocerni shows his experience, Cherry gets some punches in, and Sawn gets a bad deal. Will Conrad finally get his day and destroy his nuisances? Who will take the final orb? The answer may surprise you!
We’re in August now, and I’m expecting this month to be called back to the day job. When this happens my social media presence will probably have to die until I can get out again, probably in February. By then Darmenzi will be finished and a new story will begin. I’ll keep everyone posted.
Chapter 16: Ending Maneuvers
We’re in the final quarter of Darmenzi now! To start it off, we check in on someone we haven’t seen for a bit, then dive into a fantastic setting that gets broken into by another old “friend”. I’d have to say I particularly like this chapter, as we get to see some things we haven’t had a chance to examine too closely before, and the character interaction is amazing. When I get silly, I hold no punches from oversized novelty punching gloves.
On a side note, Slubes ebook is still free until… Wait, hold on… Smashwords is doing a sale this month. Okay! It’s free until the end of July, whee!
In other news, I’ve gotten work started on editing the third novel, Wandering Fortunes. I’m primarily combing through it right now for what major things I need to edit, but next week I’ll get underway on that. More on that near the end of the year!
Darmenzi Chapter 5: Invisible Beard is now up and available and readable and has a gooey marshmallow center. Except maybe not that last part. Sorry.
It features ghosts and pirates. What more could the internet want? A dragon? Okay!
As for me, things are as the same as they were last month as ever. I really want to quit my day job, but I can’t because we live in a society that makes you waste your life so that you can not die? Oh society, you’re so full of contradictions.
At least I’m still a few months ahead on Darmenzi. Should be halfway with the editing in a couple weeks. Still no news on Slubes, but you know what they say, no news tells you absolutely nothing about the situation, and while some may say it is positive information, others will begin to go crazy thinking of all the worst possible scenarios! Put that on a shirt and sell it! Go ahead, people will love it! Except it has a lot of words so they’ll probably actually hate you for it.
As always, Patreon is where you can give me money when I post these chapters. Perhaps someday I’ll be able to post two chapters a month, at which point that “really want to quit my day job” might be feasible.
Chapter 4: Metal Morons is available to read.
I put some consideration into making that the entire post, but it seems a little empty. What have I been up to? I’m actually a few chapters ahead now, so I’ve been working on some other stuff. Okay, so far “other stuff” has mostly included video games, but I have finally gotten back to editing my encyclopedia.
Anyway! I’ll see you next month. Go read about iron idiots.
P.S. Patreon! You know you want to help me exist purely on writing silliness. You know you want to help me not have to ever leave the interior of my home again. You know you want to give me a dollar now and then get the ebook of Slubes when it comes out later.
Darmenzi Chapter 2: Celebration Blowout is available. In this chapter, everything is ruined. This… This happens several times throughout the story, actually. It features the return of everyone’s favorite cephalopod (would you BELIEVE this spellcheck doesn’t have cephalopod? I fixed it) Con’.
In Slubes news, it’s ready to go back to my editor. Now that it’s out of my hands for a little bit, I just need to get a couple months ahead on Darmenzi and suddenly I’m not in a constant state of emergepanichaos anymore! Yay!
The next part of Slubes is up–specifically of edition 1.2, which is what I’ve been posting online. The new novel will note that on the page about copyright info and whatnot. That book will be edition 2.0.
My previous note on posting public excerpts at the end of November was really optimistic. I don’t really know what I was thinking. I’d rather not post public excerpts of edition 2.0 until it’s as good as I can get it. Meanwhile, I’ll begin posting unfinished 2.0 excerpts next week for patrons–this coming week, well, my day job will be the busiest time of year.
Today for Father’s Day, I have a character who has never had a father!
One of the islands that the crystals wash up onto is deserted—devoid of any life, actually. Not even plants. Instead, it’s covered in junk and scrap metal. It looked as if a thousand factories building metal objects exploded. And one of these metal objects is hit with The Conqueror’s animator.
Wrodin is a machine built for war. When closed it’s just a red sphere, but the two halves can split open to reveal a black cylinder connecting them (where the obligatory “living inanimate object eyes” appear). As a war machine, it comes fitted with a vast array of weapons: explosive shells, missiles, rockets, energy guns, bullets, miniature versions of itself, its own weight, and a massive energy blast that can cut through solid steel.
Wrodin is fixated on war. Aiming to be The Conqueror’s top general, it desires nothing more than to sweep the cosmos by The Conqueror’s side, blowing up anyone who stands in their way—the slubes included. But with Wrodin on his side, The Conqueror had better invade quick—Wrodin might just blow everything up in its raging passion for destruction.