Darmenzi is one year old today!

Well, in about a month it will b…

Wait, really? I released it one year ago today??? I thought that was next month! Well, fig!

So yeah, one year ago today I released the Darmenzi as an ebook on Smashwords. Maybe the February date was me thinking of the physical book’s release, which came a bit later on Lulu. This was all a little over a year after I’d put an in-progress version up for free online; you can still read that, too! It’s nowhere near as good as the final book, which is like, only a dollar on Smashwords anyway.

So, yeah, that’s a thing! You know, legally, this book is eligible for awards. Which awards? I don’t know I honestly have never paid attention to any awards for anything ever. Okay that’s a lie I paid attention to the Nintendo Power awards but there’s no way those weren’t rigged. In terms of books… not really. I should maybe fix that. It doesn’t help that I’m generally about 30 years behind on books. But I digress.

I’d wanted to have a special preview of something for this date, but that was when I thought it was in February! So, uh, an audiobook of Darmenzi is still planned to be made. So far we have only hit one major snag. And that’s… that… I haven’t… made… Dangeresque 3 yet. No but for real I apparently talked about doing some initial recording well over a year ago now and that’s just absolutely INSANE. So much gets in the way–my forgetful memory, which I’ve tried to alleviate with a gigantic two whole lines in my agenda of nothing but AUDIOBOOK over and over, but eventually even that just kind of… becomes part of the noise. Even when I do remember, well, both I and the guy I’m recording it with run into problems, schedule conflicts, technology issues, and general low spirits and sickness. Even if it’s a bit past the exciting time of release, this audiobook is going to be produced… even if it might not be until the second anniversary.

This month’s new profile is… a rerun?? How about just some end-of-year plans instead?

Okay so this is hilarious and dumb. This month I was going to post a new species profile for Help Blocks. They’re not really a species but as a special type of robot I figured I would detail them. After I put it up for Patreon–$3+ patrons get to read those things early–I realized… I already had a profile page up for them! Somehow I’d missed that and typed them in as still needing one! I didn’t realize this until after writing a new one, but the new one was better so I put that up, so it’s still new in a way! (That said, it appears to have not been added to the Species page, so… what am I even doing????? Did I never make it public? Did I just not add it to that page? My head hurts. Moving on.)

So anyway you might be wondering why the font is different. WELL. WordPress used to not carry the font over from word documents, where I copy chapters and stories from, but it did take other formatting such as italics. Well now it takes the font, so either I have to start using the font I use in word documents (Corbel) or remove the font every time I post a new chapter. So this is my way of saying, hey, guess what, you’re going to start reading everything in Corbel! Uh, let me know if it’s worse. It seems kind of thinner, but that might be because it’s sans-serif, and I’ve read that it’s easier to read sans-serif on computer screens than serif anyway. Maybe at some point I’ll get around to updating older pages with the font change, and I really should because it’ll look bad being different at places, I wonder actually if there’s a way to just set it to automatically make everything the same font, in fact let me look right now… Okay it looks like there might be but it doesn’t have Corbel so bleah. To do so otherwise might be to dig through code and let me be honest I would rather brute force it than mess with code. My head hurts enough as it is.

SO. ANYWAY. I said I was going to discuss plans for the rest of the year! November 1st is not a new Wandering Fortunes chapter, but instead I’ll be posting a new short story! We’ll be visit some old friends, or enemies, or acquaintances, or something. It’s sad and lonely and lava. Should be fun! Then, in December, an intermission for Wandering Fortunes. It’s not a full chapter, and in fact it’s really short, so the end of the year might be a bit light on content, but on the flipside I’m hoping to have another one of those Top! Interruptus! scene thingies. The Wandering Fortunes intermission will actually go up on Patreon November 1st, a month early–with this, I’m going to start putting chapters up a full month early instead of half a month, so patrons get an even better bonus! (I’m also considering rearranging some rewards, but more on that when I get to it.)

Anyway, that’s about that. Might also have a small chance of a preview for another project before the year’s end, but honestly, don’t hold your breath, it’s had quite a few snags along the way–but I’m really hoping to have at least a preview by February, the one-year anniversary of Darmenzi‘s full release…

Time in the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos

One of the complicated things I’ve found I have to do for the Cloudy Cuckoo Cosmos is time. Just time in general. It doesn’t make much sense for all three main planets to have the same year and day cycle, so it could be a completely different part of the year on one planet, or day. Sure, on just one planet it can be 3:00 at one place and 19:00 on the other, but here is a situation where it can be 21:00 on one planet and the other two don’t even have this time.

To ease confusion where one planet may have more days than another, I calculated day and year length to be roughly equal among all the planets. This is also roughly equal to the length on Earth. Isn’t nature weird and not at all being manipulated by someone who can’t be bothered to deal with this sort of stuff??

The other side of time shenaginags is that I’ve never really bothered to figure out when exactly events take place. This is no problem for Slubes and Darmenzi, which only happen over a 5-day span, but the third novel will take place well over a year, so if those events have to be referenced it would pay to know exactly when things happen.

Speaking of referenced, in Darmenzi there was a scene where Numer is watching television and hears the line, “… announcement today by New Zhopolis snowble governor Christen that they would set aside a portion of the public building renovations budget to form a new district to create housing for the homeless…” A reference to the third novel, but since writing that I’ve changed the timeline so this novel happens a year earlier, so that line will no longer work. I had to change it, but first I would need to figure out what was going on in the third novel at the time to see if I could fit another future reference in.

So aside from creating an actual calendar for these planets, I need to determine exactly what days all the events take place.

Once upon a time I had the ability to be bored.

Small sample of what I’m currently working on

Crawber (2 mil (.19 mil Hackney, 1.5 mil Interp, .31 mil other), Floggle (2 mil (1.5 mil Interp, .5 mil other)), Kasdde (1 bil), Shiffle (1 bil), Slube (.4 mil (.29 mil Hackney, .8 mil Interp, .3 mil other)), Smarmel (2.5 mil (.31 mil Hackney, 1.2 mil Interp, .99 mil other)), Spiest (negligible), Stroo (2.1 mil (.21 mil Hackney, 1.5 mil Interp, .39 mil other)), Thyvae (2 mil (1.2 mil Interp, .8 mil other)), Verk’lon (1.3 bil)

Th…That’s the sample. Before I get back to Darmenzi work I’m getting some information down into my encyclopedia that I’ve really needed for a while, some of which I’ve just been trying to pretend that I can ignore it and it won’t matter.

Population size is not one of these things, although I can now report that Mintop’s total population of intelligent creatures is about 6.5 billion, a little behind Earth actually.

What I’ve really needed to make note of is length of year and day on these planets. I can now confirm Mintop has a 398-day year with a 22-hour day. Roughly. And yes, if you calculate it, it is close to the ratio of Earth year-day-hour. It’s almost like some guy in a cloud wanted to make things easy on everyone.

I still need to make an actual list of everything I need, though. I’m also figuring up the population size of some areas, I’m going to sketch out an actual map (probably), and I want to make note of more information on some organizations, such as size. According to my data, Conrad had 823 spleeches on board his scouting space station, but as of Darmenzi only 183 are left with him. Who knows where the other 640 are. Maybe they’re all stacked on top of each other in threes wearing trench coats.